Wrecking ball…

Song of my night:  Wrecking Ball / Miley Cyrus.  Why?  It’s resonating.  Alright, I know, it’s not the best song of ever but it has a LOUD chorus that hits home to me at the moment.

I dislike my uncertainty.  I think if I just knew, I would get along well.  Maybe not.

I don’t know…if it’s my relationship with Him or if it is my mental state in general.  I find tears too easily these days.  I get set off like my heart is broken, and I am gentled with a simple word.

It’s frustrating, it’s painful and it’s not of the norm for me.

I walked in wanting a break.  Wanting to say that and to step back and consider if I can do this if it continues to be the way it is.  Which is:  EXACTLY what I want, but I am still missing out on certain things.  Ok?

So I walked in.  And I immediately lost it, in his presence.  All I wanted to do was be good, to take care of things and for him to be happy with me.

So I did.  And I stalled on talking the talk.  And I let him fuck me on the living room floor before I did his dishes…while he left for a thing with another woman..

I was happy when I left tonight.

Please explain this to me in simplified terms?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s