“Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?” (entry #4 in MY 30 days of kink..)
If I think, way down low and hard about this – absolutely, yes! I am not sure how to word or express all of these thoughts well, but, I will totally agree that I was full of kinky thoughts and weird shit way before I knew what “kinky” meant. I think I have said it before, but – I’m still just figuring this all out for myself…
*I was fascinated with sexual activity from a very young age
*I had some voyeuristic tendencies, as well as a matchmaking problem – including with early boyfriends – which directly correlates to one of my newest and more unnerving kinks…
*I have always liked rough sex. I have accidently marked myself with my own scratching and or biting while doing the solo nasty.
*I have always had “rape” fantasies. I have always felt guilty about them due to having experienced real rape, and having conflicted emotions and responses to my own psychological needs. This is a confusing one, folks.
*if I let myself, I can see power exchange fluidly throughout many relationships and encounters in my past.
*I have always adored being “marked”. Yup, this includes hickies. But really – any mark can and will suffice. A hickey, a bite-bruise, a scratch, or bruises all over my ass. This is a thing…where I crave to be marked & owned. It’s just as good (although maybe not as symbolic) as a collar or other jewellery
*I crave taboo..
that’s it for this story…there are other, nastier things that I am not quite willing to put down for the record in the public world.